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recovery never happens [Jun. 26th, 2006|04:16 pm]
i dont think it ever happens.
i eat normally and i get fat
i feel fat when im still below my "normal" weight
i get depressed even though i dont want to be obsessed with my weight anymore
im always planning to get back down to 95
i cant quit eating because i know if i do it will start all over again and i will have lost this much of my trying to get better.
i dont want to get fat
i dont want to wake up feeling worthless because i hate my weight
i want to give in again
im going to just let it have me, its always there even when im "normal"